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 Irene Worrell's Proposal

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iremon423




Posts : 18
Join date : 2012-09-10

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PostSubject: Irene Worrell's Proposal   Irene Worrell's Proposal EmptySat Sep 22, 2012 9:51 am

Hi all. Here's my proposal.....


This story will be written in the 3rd person about a car accident my Mom was in while she was a few months pregnant with me. The opening will be introducing my Mom, Dad, and my brother Keith. The rising conflict will be the accident itself where the car my Mom was driving collides with a moving train and gets thrown from the car. The paramedics find her quickly and she’s still alive. Then it will turn to my Dad when he gets the call and he rushes to the hospital, not knowing if Mom will survive. She will need surgery to remove her Spleen and to put in a metal plate in to fix her shattered forearm. After the surgery the doctor explains that Mom will be just fine, but that’s when my Dad realizes that he’s not sure where Keith is and that he might have been in the car with Mom at the time. He tries to get in touch with the babysitter who is not answering her phone and just about when Dad’s about to go out to the accident scene to look for Keith, my Aunt Karen walks into the hospital with Keith in her arms. The conclusion will be when the doctor delivers the news that Mom is pregnant and the baby will be just fine.

Any additional suggestions or editing is VERY much appreciated. Thanks and happy reading Very Happy
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Derek
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Derek


Posts : 277
Join date : 2011-01-05

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PostSubject: Re: Irene Worrell's Proposal   Irene Worrell's Proposal EmptySat Sep 22, 2012 11:52 am

That is pretty much perfect as a proposal. Very clear. The beginning, middle and end are all right there. You will need to be very aware of the paragraph lengths and of the detail necessary in each as you begin to flesh out your narrative, but that comes after our meeting.

Good work.
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