Kimberly Macias' Narrative Essay Proposal

Hi everyone this is my proposal for my essay. Any feedback would be very appreciated!

The narrative essay I want to write is about the day that my grandfather passed away. The story will be in first person and will feature all of my thoughts throughout that entire day. It will start off when I was woken up by my mother telling me we had to rush to the hospital because my grandfather was very sick. The rising action will feature the good and bad news delivered to us by the doctor and all of the medical complications that became apparent throughout that day. Myself and my family members were put through a rollercoaster ride of emotions that day and this essay should take the reader on that same ride, as if they were in that waiting room with us. The conclusion of the essay will be the last piece of news that we received, which was that there was nothing else that could be done for my grandfather and the essay will end with his passing.