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 Looking for Peer Review

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jsco.ellis



Posts : 5
Join date : 2012-12-02

PostSubject: Looking for Peer Review   Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:31 am

On Introductory paragraph to Informative essay.

I remember walking into the Doctor's office after years of thinking that I was perhaps crazy for having this constant pain throughout my body, as all of my tests came back negative each time. The doctor said he wanted to perform a different sort of exam on me called a “diagnostic tender point examination”. He proceeded to apply pressure to 18 different parts of my body and asked me how tender it felt. After all was said and done, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. The fact that I responded negatively to 11 or more of the pressure points during the examination seemed to tip the Doctor off to what has been troubling me all of this time. Although not very much is known about the origins of this widely growing diagnosis, it has been observed that “three to six per cent of the population may be affected” by it. “Fibromyalgia is a persistent, widespread pain and tenderness affecting the muscles” and has been making a huge name for itself in recent years. Symptoms include “muscle pain [...] muscle stiffness, joint pain, disturbed sleep, headaches, fatigue, abdominal cramps and bloating”. It has also been noted that FM (Fibromyalgia) largely affects those diagnosed not only physically, but mentally as well. Depression and anxiety are two common health problems associated with FM, and so they too must be taken into consideration when dealing with treatment plans for patients. There is no known cure for FM, but there are numerous ways to manage the chronic pain and depression associated with it by using a combination of treatments that can give back the quality of life that patients deserve to have.

-Scott
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shathu699



Posts : 17
Join date : 2012-09-24

PostSubject: Re: Looking for Peer Review   Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:37 pm

Seems good, i like the way it was written. Just remember that in your conclusion to go further into detial about your topic, don't just restate your intro in a different way. I like the topic choice, as wel as the way it relates to you, good job.
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jsco.ellis



Posts : 5
Join date : 2012-12-02

PostSubject: Re: Looking for Peer Review   Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:58 pm

Thank you for the feedback! It's too late for me to change anything now - but it's still good to hear.
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